Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I just want to thank everyone for their kind words and best wishes for my health and speedy recovery. It has meant the world to me. I have made steady improvements since yesterday and I'm even managing food - reasonable quantities! Massive step forward I say!

Unfortunately, my parents don't see it the same way. They have rescinded our invitation to come and stay with them over Christmas. We were due to drive down there yesterday but clearly I wasn't well enough and had put off the drive until tomorrow. I had a really good night last night - plenty of unbroken sleep so we thought we would be fine to drive tomorrow. Halfway through packing my suitcase this morning my mother called and said she thought it would be best if we made the choice not to come.

I don't want to get into "she said he said" because the whole thing is so hurtful and nasty but after countless phone calls and oceans of tears, the upshot is that we are not welcome at their house because I have been sick and they are worried about how that will impact their holiday and plans for January.

I honestly don't know what I can say to that. My heart is breaking. After all I have been through this year I thought that other than Mr Kitty, my parents were the people I could truly count on. As it turns out, they prefer their own company rather than spending Christmas with their eldest daughter and her husband. And to top it off, not only have they ruined our Christmas, they have also ruined the Christmas of Mr Kitty's Aunt because she was due to come along as well and now she clearly feels uncomfortable spending Christmas with people who don't want their daughter with them on Christmas Day so has to make other arrangements.

So it leaves Mr Kitty and I at a total loss for something to do on Christmas Day. We'll cobble something together I suspect but all I can imagine is how sad and alone we are going to feel without the celebration that we had planned with my family. They have disappointed me more that I could ever have imagined with their selfish choice.

And the other quandary we are faced with: how can you possibly forgive someone for doing this to you? For breaking your heart and ruining what you have been looking forward to for months?

Apparently parental love is not unconditional, but I know this for a fact: If I am ever lucky and privileged enough to have a daughter I would never treat her like this.

Devastated Kitty

9 comments:

Louise said...

wow, this is horrible to read Kitty! I am so sorry you are going through this, during what should be a happy, family-orientated time of year. If that is how they truly feel, I would resolve to have the best damn Christmas ever, with Mr Kitty, at home. Cook anything you like, wear anything you like, eat at whatever time you like.... I know it won't be the same, but you should not let them ruin Christmas!

Sydney Shop Girl said...

Just emailed you, Kitty.

Lots of love from ALL of your readers. We're all depending on you to spend the day in STYLE. Please post outfit photos!!

SSG xxx

Sydney Shop Girl blog

RealEstateGirl said...

So sad to read your latest post Kitty. I think most importantly you need to concentrate on your health and getting better at the moment rather than dwelling on this upsetting situation. I'm sure that as long as you and Mr Kitty are together on Christmas Day then it will be a special and happy time. Maybe now that you are available you can look into a fabulous lunch out somewhere exclusive? Either way, I hope you get well soon and have a merry Christmas.

Cait said...

Hi Kitty, sorry to hear this. I too have been sick the last few days and the last thing you need when trying to get better is family dramas! I hope Christmas day is better for you than you think it will be. Take care, Cait xx

Semi Expat said...

Dear Miss Kitty - it is natural that you are feeling down about their decision and it probably feels even worse because you are not 100% better (although I would not imagine contagious by now)... Parents are strange - I know this won't be any help but my mother has always been like that all my life - 'Oh don't be coming over here if you have germs, dear, your father and I don't want it'. Yes, very hurtful and there are things that my mother did when I was growing up which I promised I would never ever do if I was lucky enough to have a daughter. I was lucky enough and believe you me I have brought her up in an entirely different way! You learn from your parents in many different ways. You and Mr Kitty will have a lovely day together - just do exactly as you please each minute.... oh and do post us your outfit too as SSG suggests - great idea! Thinking of you. Sarah X

Not Quite Nigella said...

Oh Kitty! My heart is just breaking for you! What a terrible thing to happen to you on top of your illness :( I don't know what to say. I guess you always count on parents to be the mature and logical ones and when they act inappropriately it is such a profound sense of disappointment. *HUGS*

Kiki Chaos said...

Oh kitty, how awful for you! I'm so, so sorry to hear that your parents made such a hurtful decision. I can relate in a similar way - my mother won't celebrate my birthday for religious reasons and I didn't talk to her for months this year because of it. When parents show a lack of love that you should just take for granted, it's just baffling and extremely hurtful. I hope you and Mr Kitty find a way to have a lovely xmas day anyway. Don't spose you want to travel to Melbourne and join ours?? You'd be super welcome hon. XX Kiki

KittyCate said...

I felt so teary reading this :( The thought of not being with my parents for Christmas is heart-breaking! I am so, so sorry to hear that this has happened, its horrible, especially as Christmas should be all about family.
I am glad to hear you are starting to feel better - I truly hope that you and Mr Kitty can spend a lovely, relaxing Christmas together. Buy some champers. Take care of yourself xx

missposy said...

Much love, Kitty x